Alright alright, keep your pants on!
I'm still screening them and trying to find evenings I can actually meet up with people!
And I tell you it's hard.. you know what I forgot about dating? You have to go out.
I kind of hate going out. I would ALWAYS prefer to come home, or stay home.
In fact half the reason i want a 'someone' is so that i don't have to go out anymore, ever, and can mostly just stay in with them.
It's really hard. on line dating. not really hard like quantum physics or lifting cars, but it takes a lot of work. You have to do alot of fast mental configuring when you look at people's profiles. It is like a mish mash of socia-compatibility geometry and algebra, are my patterns and sets symmetrical to yours?
Picture (of course) comes first, because you see it first. But I don't discount men for being ugly, only if they are stupidly retarded ugly I do, but otherwise I don't. Because it is true that a good looking asshole, who puts you down and makes you feel unwanted, quickly becomes very an ugly creature, and a short guy with gappy teeth and a bad hair line, who makes you feel loved and makes you laugh alot, can become the hunk of the century, in your eyes. Personality talks.
This is of course unless they are full retard. Which cannot be eclipsed by roses and good jokes. Yes, i am going to hell.
Actually what I search a face for is kindness, First always, kindness, you can see it in a persons eyes. And then I look for the 'me-ness'. You know?
There are people who's face you can look at and know they're a you person, or not a you person.
Then I look at age bracket, religion, height and star sign! In no order of preference! Seriously. Seriously! Oh god it's true. And then you have to put that set of statistics into your compabitiligy computer and see what it spits out.
Oh and of course there's the message they send you. Which tells you how smart they are, and if you talk the same, and if you have an easy, interesting, exciting raport. Or 'other'. There are lots of 'other'.
Anyway so, the christian and the witch.
Usually, and always in the past, I would screen a christian person more quickly than you can say 'Hey Jesus! I can see my house frome here!'.
In fact, when I find out people at parties are christian, I leave the conversation.
If you could tell christians by how they walk, i'd cross the road... you get the picture. I used to feel totally within my rights to not tolerate people's christianity.
Until that is, I felt the brunt of date one's dissing out MY personal beliefs as if they were ridiculous.
And I realised something... I have come to my set of beliefs, spiritual and otherwise, due to all the experiences i have had in my life. Real, profound experiences that touched me to my soul, and have MADE me who I am.
And so those beliefs are really a part of who I am, not something I hold out away from me, temporary, or lightly adopted. I hold those beliefs because I BELIEVE them, and they somehow feel so integral to my person, that they almost ARE me, or at least, are coiled around the very centre of me.
And so when told those beliefs are stupid, actually ridiculously inane, and I a fool for holding them, I felt actually as if someone was trying to extinguish my whole being. And I wished for tolerance, for the right to quietly believe what I believe, and be left my dignity with it.
And I'm glad i know it now. Because here I have been thinking belittling thoughts about christians for years now, and their stupidity, and their stupid beliefs.
So, it was quite eye opening to realise, that if i felt I deserved to have at least tolerance for what I believed, and not by ridiculed for it, so did others.
I see a God, the older caucasian male one, sitting with one ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, in a white robe, slowly pulling on the long hairs of his soft and tidy salt and pepper bed, raising one dark furry eyebrow and saying
Touche, my dear girl, touche.
So long story long. I've opened the door, just a crack, to the christians.
HOWEVER!
Not all christians, not the type that robe their bigotry and smallness with christianity and think that makes it NOBLE.
Along came Yachtie123, religion: christian.
So I asked him 'how christian' he was.
and he said;
if you're looking for quick sex i'm not the person for you.
!!!!
Really, more to clear my name than anything else, i replied that i wasn't, but that i felt it was good for people to share their world view.. and that was why i asked.
And he said:
I believe you should treat others as you wish to be treated.
I believe in an honest days hard work.
I don't drink and I try not to swear.
I'm anti witchcraft, abortion, homosexuality and promiscuity.
Do you have any beliefs?
Well.
What could I say?
My toes curled with delight!
And I in return said:
I also believe in treating others as you wish to be treated, and beyond that, in not judging people for their actions so long as their actions hurt nobody.
I think swearing can be used for great effect, and occasional heavy drinking can be medicinal.
I am pro witchcraft, pro choice, pro all types of love including same sex love, and believe that promiscuity is a patriarchal term used mainly by men to oppress women who enjoy having sex, the concept of which, to add, heralds from biblical times when every act of intercouse could result in a child, which is of couse is redundant concern now with the (thank god)invention of contraception.
And then just said that I hoped he found love, but clearly, not with me.
