I recently came accross the story of Jenna Talackova, a 23 year old woman who was born a boy, who forced a rule change to let transgender women contend in Miss Universe Canada.
(FYI Donald Trump owns the franchise and it was he who acquiesed. You just know behind that comb over and rubbery face that guy is a real good c*nt ahy?)
So yeah she was born a boy and says that by the age of 4 she felt like a girl living in a boys body.
Age of four!
This is when I started to think... do I feel like a girl inside?
What does a girl feel like anyway?
*closes eyes and tries to feel internal feelings of femaleness*
I can't feel if I feel like a girl or not. I'm not even sure what i'm looking for here.
I try the same thing with 'feeling like a male'
*closes eyes, forages around in the dark for feelings of maleness*
Nup. I don't have any of those either.
The truth is, I have no feelings of gender inside me at all. In fact, I'd go so far as to say, I feel quite genderless inside. Inside I feel like a person, kinda, although even that's a bit of a leap.
Mostly I just feel my emotions whizzing around like electrons in an atom, combusting and colliding and disappearing from existence only to reappear again without warning and seemingly without meaning....
But even those, I can stand back from, they're not really me.
What the HELL are these people feeling, that make them feel like, or not like, one gender or the other?!?
This has really got me puzzled.
And it surprises me that this question has only just arisen for me because I lived with a transgender person, originally male turned female, for a year, and I never thought about it then.
And actually, that adds another puzzling level to the whole question, I'll tell you why.
Even though she said she whole heartedly felt female, and wanted to live in a females body, you know, enough to have her wanger surgically transformed into a gash for $10,000 in thailand, enough to put up with weekly laser sessions on her face to remove facial hair (and you know that shit hurts ladies), enough to take synthetic hormones that made her all sorts of fucked up and depressed (oestrogen - who'd have it!) and EVEN To deal with all the bullshit and prejudice and hatred she must have encountered regularly... Even though all of that, she just really acted like a boy.
She had such a boy nature, just like, not that emotional i guess, and seriously, girls are moody! And she was really good with tools and cars and she loved motorbikes, I mean she could really fix shit, like anything, and had heaps of tools... she was just, boysy. She couldn't see dirt, that was another boy thing, she had that 'broad stroke of the brush' approach to cleaning, and the other three girls who lived there were, you know, a bit more anal. That's a girl thing. There were lots of little ways she seemed like a boy. She even liked girls. Even though she was a girl. So she was gay too. Nuts ahy. I think that's why I never really thought about it, because I was too busy trying to be accepting for her sake, because man, what a hard road to hoe....
And once we had this really funny, telling moment. I think it was me who said that women have 72 bathroom items, and men have about 5, and everyone, boy and girl, in the group nodded that it was true, except her and she said, i'm somewhere in the middle.
So that's what I've been wondering about that. What are these people FEELING inside?!?! How does it FEeeeel? Why don't I have a feeling?!?! Should I be feeling something? Should I be worried? What do you feel inside? Does this make me non-gender!?? Aarrgh.
I mean, I definitely like boys, but that is a separate issue.
What if I'm a gay man in a womans body and i don't know yet?!?!?
Wonder if I can get ACC for that...?
That's all really.
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ReplyDeleteI totally understand your post Cinderella. You posted about YOUR feelings and YOUR experiences. You're trying to understand yourself and others, and learn, grow and evolve. I applaud you for that and others for helping you to do so.
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ReplyDeleteSorry dudes, but this isn't your blog, and it isn't your forum to air all your negative bullshit.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to do that, start your own blog. Send me a link and i'll come comment about how you hurt my feelings, actually nah, what a waste of my life that would be.
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Deletecoward.
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ReplyDeleteI'm confused. Based on your list, I'm a boy. But I was born female, and identify as female. I'm not that moody, I'm terrible at cleaning and cooking, I love tools and playing in the dirt. I don't dress up or wear makeup. I think snakes make awesome pets. I love science and learning in general. I'm physically stronger than the guys at my work as well. So where does that leave those generalisations of what is feminine behaviour versus masculine?
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should learn something about the subject you want to write about.
ReplyDeleteYou mean like, use Google or something? What do you think she is? Some kind of wizard?
DeleteI think the comment deletion is a lot like when kids stick their fingers in their ears and go "na-na-na-na, I can't HEAR you"...
ReplyDeletereal shame... usually a comments section is for dialogue on the posted subject... this just seemed to be now edited into a one-way rant.
What point is there in accepting comments if youre just going to delete them all? That makes this a one-sided rant, not a conversation. If you're going to be making such presumptuous comments about a subject you know nothing about, accept the flack in return or don't bother with it. Or at least turn off commenting.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I read most of the comments before the page reloaded and they were all gone, and I didn't see all this negativity you mentioned, I saw people trying to have legitimate discourse on a subject that very directly impacts so many lives.
We get it, you don't "feel your gender" because you are cis and are therefore congruent. Could have been left at that without your presuming to redefine the gender experience for everyone else.
Wonder how long this comment will remain up before it, too, is censored.
At least most of the comments were saved. They can be found here if anyone is curious.
Deletehttp://linkdump.yolasite.com/gruesome.php
Do you not see the injustice of trans people or gender-fluid people being "unacceptable"? Do you not see, every day, how they are labelled as "undesirables"? Do you not see the hatred and misunderstanding that is perpetually surrounding them, mostly because cisgendered people, like you and me, prefer to treat them as "Other"?
ReplyDeleteAnd finally, do you not see how UNFAIR that is? I'm sure that, on the surface, you do. But judging by your post, I really feel that you don't understand beyond that. Most cisgendered people never have to think about their gender simply because they are comfortable with the gender that may be suggested by their physical sex.
Unfortunately, you have chosen to turn off the conversation here. That is unfortunate because you could have really learned something from the comments. A conversation is something where two or more individuals exchange points. You have chosen not to do that, deciding that your point of view is better than everyone else's and the fact that they would even argue with you is a direct result of THEIR negativity. They don't understand you. That's the vibe I got from your comments back, and while you may not have intended that, that is the result that all of us got. Your intentions, which I assume were decent, do not negate the hurt that you have caused. That's why when we hurt others, we apologize and express regret -- that would not be necessary if good intentions magically took away the hurt.
May I humbly suggest that it is you who does not understand? May I suggest that, if you're commenting on a group of unprivileged people, in an area in which you have privilege, that if someone who is part of that unprivileged group (minorities, LGBTQI individuals, etc) comments and tells you that you do not understand, that you're missing the point, that you listen to them?
I say this because of your comment that this blog is based on your experiences. This is fine, but you were not commenting on your own experience in this post. You were commenting on the experience of another (your flatmate), and of trans people in general. You were commenting on their experience, and you did it wrong. How do I know this? Because trans people were TELLING you that you did it wrong, that their experiences WEREN'T like that, that you're being insensitive. And then, because of your error, you blame them? Cinderella, please just admit you made a mistake. We all make mistakes. It is easy to forgive if you apologize and attempt to educate yourself on the subject.
I am privileged like you. I am a white, straight, cisgendered woman. I learned about trans people, by LISTENING to them. You have to LISTEN in order to learn. So far, all you have done is talk, and when others try to tell you that you're mistaken or that their experience is different, you brush them off and tell them that they don't know their own experiences ("You are just looking for negativity!"), that YOU know them better.
You opened this post by asking what trans people were feeling. Well, this is something of a legitimate question. But if you want an answer, why don't you listen to them? Many of them would be pleased to share their experiences with you if you would actually open your heart and take on board what they're saying (and not just what you wish they were saying). Nobody is saying that you are a bad person, or that you live a bad life just because you are privileged. They're just saying you need to recognize that you are in a position where you will never have to worry about people being disgusted at your gender. You will never have to worry about being called horrible names, never have to worry about not being allowed to take certain jobs or compete in certain competitions, or what have you. It will never be a barrier for you. And that's why you and I are privileged in this area. We are free of that discrimination.
Allow them to speak and put aside your defensiveness for a few moments and really listen.
I was asking, what does it mean to be one gender or another, to ME.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why I talk about the 'stereotypes' of male and female.
Not because I think people should live inside the box of a stereotype, I did not create those stereotypes, I witness the power of them in the world, I am subject to a great many stereotypes myself. I take it on myself to accpet them and live them out, or not. And often i do not.
I take the point that because I choose to live in the female body I was born into (being congruent it has been referred to), perhaps I don't understand transgenders peoples feelings of being in the wrong body.
I don't.
My not understanding it makes neither my feelings, nor theirs, right, or wrong.
And my point would be, if transgender people as a community keep referring to cis people as congruent and themselves as incongruent, how are they supposed to ever be happy with themselves. I think it is up to you, to all people, and transgender people, to fully and completely love and accept yourself. Start calling yourself perfect, not incongruent. Words are powerful (as is evident). I know that no one could make me love and accept myself, i had to do it myself.
However i thought about this dialogue, and asked myself, what would make it better, for all these people, who are so unhappy about this. It has never been my intention to cause pain. Though it is not my responsibility, nor am I able, to fix anyone elses emotions, I came to the same conclusion that you did, people want to be heard. I want to be heard. Everyone does.
ReplyDeleteSo because this has become what it has become, I will go and read everyone's comments again, and try to ignore the purely hateful ones, and listen to your opinions. purely because I feel you need it, for your healing process. I was never against hearing you, I was against the attack you put on me, for saying something I did not say.
Can you imagine how horrible it would be for someone to label you a racist, and then persecute you for it, when you have no racist feelings inside you, and in fact are intentionally compassionate about the issue.
The word privelege has come up many times. I am well aware of my priveleges, not just in being cis (a term often used here, I think i am using it correctly), but by not being disabled, by having loving parents, by living in the first world, there are many things on that list. And every day of my life I am grateful, for all I have.
That does not mean however, that I owe a debt to anyone. I no more chose to be who I am, than you did, or anyone.
I do not see it my place to apologise to transgender people, just because I am not one.
You ask me to apologise for my words, but the sentiment in them, is one of respect, awe and compassion. If it doesn't seem that way to you, please take my word for it.
I can't apologise for a sentiment i don't haev. It would be artificial. It would be an admonission that I do hold the opinions you accuse me of. I don't.
My blog about the cow joke above, is pretty obiously sub text saying: don't read too much into something. Take it more lightly, no matter how serious something is, it can be healed by releasing the pain and tension around it. And humour is a good way to release tension. I worked in a comedy bar for many years, and know this to be true. Being able to laugh at something, means you are healing it. It doesn't mean it was right, it means you've let go of your pain.
And yet I get the comment that I must be pro-rape. What a hideous, hateful accusation, and a perfect example of how misinterpreted words can be. And how readers anger and hatred, is being misplaced by being aimed at me.
I am just one person. I can't solve the problems that transgender people face.
What i can do, is be non-judgemental towards all people, be compassionate of others struggles, be open-minded, and above all be loving, even when I am hurt.
I do that. Daily. I strive to live that way.
I believe your hurt, and your struggles, and I do not make light of them.
But neither am i responsible for them.
This is not a forum about transgender people, it is a forum for my thoughts about what it's like to be me.
I would appreciate if everyone would stop making it one.
Hi Manda,
ReplyDeleteI mentioned my flatmate as an example of MY experience with a transgender person. No where in the text do I say anything derogative about her. I say that what makes a great impression on me, is her willingness to endure so much pain to honour who she feels she is. And I draw from that that she clearly has utter conviction. It is a compliment to her.
I say her behaviour is 'like a boy' - and am referring the 'stereotypical' behaviour of males. This is neither an insult or a compliment.
A stereotype is a belief about the way most people behave, and by definition (most) it says there are exceptions. We can use stereotypes to communicate, because we all understand them. They don't need to be considered derogative by definition.
I can say about myself, I am physiologically female, and i display many male characteristics. By using the words female and male, you know what I am talking about. But I am neither puting myself down, or putting myself up. They're just ways of describing.
I would have taken more care to explain myself because words are so easily misinterpreted, and in a sensitive audience, even more so. Not because I would have changed my meaning, thoughts, or sentiment. Not to triavialise anything, but if a woman who is sensitive about her weight hear's a comment about her weight, due to her sensitivity, she could easily misinterpret the comment. So anyone would take more care. Though in their thoughts they may think only positive things, they would take care to get that message across. if you see what I mean. That's all I meant by that.
Thanks
Might I also point out that one can be an ally of trans people (can even be a trans person) and still say or do things that are hurtful to trans people. It isn't as though you are EITHER a perfect ally who always understands all of the nuances of all the social justice issues related to trans people OR a hateful horrible transphobic nincompoop. So when people criticize the manner in which you chose to discuss this topic or when they point out nuances that you are not getting, don't assume they are lumping you in with the second group. From what I've seen the folks responding have gone out of their way to be polite and treat you as an ally who has made a misstep. Given your initial post this seems to me appropriate. Even in light of your rather dismissive and condescending comments I'm inclined to believe you when you say that you are an ally. Just perhaps not yet a very good one.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good point CPS. And I think accurate. I consider myself an ally to transgender people, and yet perhaps because I am hardly in touch with that world, was insensitive to them.
ReplyDeleteSome folks have been polite. Some have really dumped stuff here.
My point was 'don't make me a flag of your enemy' because I'm not.
And I can't defend that side.
Thanks
A. It is the trans community that determines whether u r an ally or not (so u might want to listen to what they are telling u if u care about being their ally).
DeleteB. My assumption from reading all ur comments (including the ones you deleted which are shown here http://linkdump.yolasite.com/gruesome.php) is that u are not being an ally. Its clear from the comments you deleted that you care more about self-preservation (in the emotional sense) than being an ally when ur being criticized for fucking up. Also the fact that u deleted comments from people who went out of their way to explain how you screwed up and gave you resources to educate yourself shows how much you only care about your reputation
C. Saying that you care doesn't make you care. Intentions do not magically erase the effects of your actions.
*Is there a cis privilege BINGO card floating around on the internetz cause I think Cinderella could have called out bingo several times.
**Someone screenshot this before its deleted.
Found one. THIS!!!!
Deletehttp://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lamyeqax4v1qdd9ado1_500.jpg
Thank you Philip.
DeleteI added those to my own blogpost about this nonsense.
http://purplenoize.net/2012/08/looking-at-an-extreme-case-of-cis-privilege/
I think that for the future it would be good to think about ethical responsibilities (read: consent)in blogging. In your post is intimate information being disclosed and I strongly believe that we need to be careful in what and how we post about real people. When I publish something that is easily traceable who the person is (for some people) plus it concerns private matters and therefore their anonymity is not guaranteed, I as the writer have a responsibility to show them first what I am going to write. I need to consult with them whether they think I represented them/the interaction in a way their feel okay about. Because my truth or experience might differ from someone else.
ReplyDeleteNot that this whole discussion is not (hopefully) productive but there would probably been less hurt feelings by checking in with the person you are writing about.
Hi Phillip,
ReplyDeleteWhat you seem to have overlooked is that I am not under any obligation to hold any views, have any opinions, or act in anyway, because a community of people tell me that I should.
I could wander around my life being a complete asshole and bigot, if I wanted to you. You have all acted utterly righteous and indignant, saying that i should be acting how YOU seem fit. Should say this and not that, to keep your feelings from getting hurt.
The reality is, I am not under any obligation to 'be an ally' or not be an ally. Nor is there a definition of 'the perfect ally' that one should hold to.
I have told you that I am - in that, to the best of my ability I try not to be judgemental or persecute others for their choices. I think that by telling me 'I am not being sufficiently good enough to be an ally' you are only damaging your own cause.
I could have just as easily said, fuck you, you don't know what you're talking about. Which is true, you don't know what I mean, think, or do. It's your/their interpretation, and it has been inaccurate all along.
However because so many people were so hurt, I tried to elucidate my true sentiments, and the commentors here have preferred to largely ignore that.
Rather than accept my explanation, most people/you have chosen to say: no, i'm HURT! There must be a reason, YOU must be the cause.
It seems to me they/you would rather have a problem, (this person has aggrieved me!!!) than to accept my explanation.
And from what I have now read, I think that is a CORE problem for you, and this community.
YOu would sooner be hurt than try and understand ME.
THough I have been told I must understand YOU.
DOuble standard much?
By viewing peoples actions through a belief that you are being persecuted, you will see persecution everywhere you look.
That is true of all people. If I think, no body likes me, and walk around interpreting everyone's actions as confirming this belief, well, I strengthen that belief.
There has to be some responsibility on your/their part, in looking into thier beliefs, and how that shapes their experience.
This notion of 'you fucked up' is a perfect example of how the emotion in your words is at the developmental level of a child.
It's an oversimplified statement which entitles you to your hurt feelings.
You could potentially all benefit from suspending your feelings of righteousness and hurt, and if someone tells you, I'm doing my best to be an ally, believe that, and be thankful to be dealing with one less asshole.
Thanks,
Maude - I'm not sure if your link is in reference to me, or to the commentors..?
ReplyDeleteThis 'psychological projection involves believing that your emotions originate from others' - is a perfect explanation of commentors believing that I hold one opinion, and that that is why they have the feelings they have. Thanks for pointing that out.
ReplyDeleteLuca, ethics is an interesting point. An ethic is a belief you hold about what is right and wrong, would you say that is correct?
ReplyDeleteI personally hold that it is right to raise topics, to talk openly, and to be frank and to try and be honest.
I think that most non-transgender people (cis?) would silently hold beliefs about being transgender that they would never voice.
I don't think the non-voicing of opinions makes them any less powerful, and potentially harmful.
Saying openly and frankly
(and to clarify for the umpteenth time, I was not commenting on whether I thought trans people were good, bad, right or wrong) that I do not personally, myself, feel that defining myself with hard lines about belonging to one gender at the exclusion of another, is ethically aligned with what I think is right and wrong.
I am expressing an opinion about MYSELF that I feel free's me from the confines of gender, and in doing so, free's others.
I have more to say, but one must do one's work as well!
Thanks for your comments.
My morals are often formed by people who have told me I have crossed their boundaries - or before I got the chance to do so. This means, if I write about someone elses (e.g.) sexuality, mental health, relationships I - and you have done this in your post - have to ask that person if what I am writing is, in their eyes, correct. I am not sure if you understood this point, as to me it sounds like you still believe you were only writing about yourself. But you were not. You involved that former flatmate, without her knowing. As it was said before, this is not purely about you if you disclose the details of some other person's story. Simple as that.
ReplyDeleteHi Luca,
ReplyDeleteSo if you were a writer, any topic you would write about, be it people who were on your bus, people you work with or say, brad pitt, you would contact them all and ask them if it is okay that you mention them in your writing, and tell them the content, and see if it was okay with them, and if it was okay with all of them, only then you would publish it?
What say, you read a book, and you didn't like it, in fact you thought it was terrible, and you were a book reviewer and you wrote a column saying you hated the book, and that you thought the author had no talent. Would you contact that author first, and run it past them?
Does this rule apply to the news? In the news they talk about people all the time, like say sports people who have had taken performance enhancing drugs say. They may not have taken them, this could be very hurtful, and even considered slander. Do they have to contact those people before running the story?
Is it ammoral, to run the story, and not first ask them if they approve?
Does this apply to books, like a book about Queen Elizabeth. Do you think she has editing rights to that book?
It seems obscure, and preposterous, this suggestion that it is only morally right to mention someone in your writing, if they are okay with it.
And as for the people who have told me I have crossed their boundaries, I say, Well, I didn't mean to, at all, I didn't even vaguely, sneakily kind of try to hoping i'd get away with it.
In fact, it is the CONTRARY to what they think I said. The ACTUAL content of my writing has a sentiment of awe, respect and compassion.
First it says - a trans gender person got accepted into the miss america contest and i think that is FUCKING GREAT.
Then it says, wow that makes me wonder what it feels like to KNOW absolutely that you are one gender or another, and I don't know if I have that feeling.
Then it says, I used to live with a transgender person, who displayed traits considered both male and female types of behaviour (please forgive my use of stereotyping, they aren't my invention). I even mention how I NEVER even questioned her belief, because I just wanted to accept her because I felt that accepting her was the most important thing.
Then I tell a funny anecdote about how a group of my friends were making an observation about the difference between men and women, and she said, ha, funny, i'm somewhere in between. Making light of her own situation, which is a pretty emotionally mature thing to do, I think.
So if people read that and feel that I crossed their boundaries, because they have read into my blog, something that simply, honestly, in all truth, is not there, then no, I can't say I call into question my ethics and morals.
Oh and phillip, i'm assuming this:
ReplyDelete"Is there a cis privilege BINGO card floating around on the internetz cause I think Cinderella could have called out bingo several times."
Is meant to be an insult?
So, obviously you think it's okay
A) to insult me
(but i'm not allowed to even mention you without your permission and you should control all content if I do)
and B) TO INSULT ME FOR BEING NON-TRANSGENDER.
(Though i must have complete and utter acceptance of your sexual orientation and never even mention you incase I offend you).
And let me get this straight, my crime, that I deserve to be ridiculed and insulted for is ... not being transgender.
Gee let's change a few words around here, what if that read your crime, that you should be ridiculed and insulted for, is being transgender.
How does that to you?
Like bigotry and hate?
Yeah that's how it sounded when you said it to me.
Doesn't matter that you're waving a 'i'm underpriveleged' flag.
It's still just bigotry and hate.
Yeah, I believe there is a difference in considering people we know/knew personally or to write about public persons or dead ones! Capitalist meadia does not work ethically but blogging and self-publishing should be a better example of how things could be! Also, it is not true that you only mentioned someone, you made half the post about someone else. It also does not read the way you argue - is that not obvious after all these comments here? Your tone is not full of the respect you claim.
ReplyDeleteThis is all I have to say to this matter
Hi Luca,
ReplyDeleteYou're right, the tone is not 'full of respect'. But nor does it contain any anti or derogatory sentiments. It's mostly observational. I wasn't writing an entry specifically about my respecct for people of transgender, that wasn't the topic. But when accused of being anti-transgender, I explained this. Am I not allowed to explain myself?
It also must be put into context, that I am anonymous in this blog, and she is also anonymous. And that I did not write this entry on a forum or blog about transgender, or gender issues, I wrote it on my blog which is just a collection of my thoughts and experiences. This blog isn't advertised anywhere, or linked to anything, and has a readership of about 8, if that.
Yes I have heard people say that they have been offended by it. And whilst I generally would hope for these people not to feel hurt, I do not feel that it is my responsibility to change what I have said, so that they can feel okay.
What I said was honest, but without malice.
I would like any of the commentors to say at least once, yes I can see that, I can see that you also express support for transgender people by cheering for them being allowed in the miss universe contest! But will they? No. And should I carry hurt around about that? No. That's just their opinion. Even though they wrote it on my blog.
And let's not overlook that commentors have intimated that I am anti-transgender, (quite an insult) without asking my opinion, on my very blog wall. Who do these rules of censorhip and delicacy apply to?
If you have read any of the other posts you would see i also have written about my observations about marriage, I write the positives I see in it, the negatives, and I write about my friends experiences, because that's mostly what I have to go on.
These are just observations, and my opinion is subject to change.
Do I have a responsibility to all people married and unmarriedin the world, to make sure I am representing them accurately in the potrait that I paint?
Must I change my words so that not a hint of insult could be taken?
I don't think I do. In fact I can see how they might be offended, and I'm okay with that.
Because, if they are offended, it means that something inside them doesn't feel right.
Because, if someone happily married person read in my blog that I was not so sure about the virtues of marriage, I would expect them to say, oh well, poor you, i have a wonderful marriage.
I hope you can see my point.
I can only write about my own thoughts and experiences, in reference to the world around me. And I refuse to censor myself because someone, somewhere might be offended. There is a big big difference between that, and purposefully saying unkind or derogative things that are intended to offend. A big difference.
Hey you know what, write a blog about me, write a blog about a woman who wrote a blog about her thoughts about gender in reference to her experience with transgender people.
You can even link to this page, so it is obvious who you are talking about. In fact many have already posted links to this page, and associated it with defamatroy sentiments about me.
I can't stop you.
And it doesn't change who I am, what I think and how I act.
It is just your opinion.
Judging from the comments both on and off this thread about the original blog post, all I can say is that it's no wonder this community is so misunderstood!
ReplyDelete"There were lots of little ways she seemed like a boy. She even liked girls."
ReplyDeleteYou've made the error of conflating gender with sexuality, and gender identity with stereotypical gender expression. It's a common mistake, but it's still a mistake, and it's one that does often underpin transphobic sentiments, especially considering the fact that non-trans people are not subjected to the same scrutiny when they dare to step outside of the behavioural norm of their own gender.
In any case, this might clear some things up for you.
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/breaking-through-the-binary-gender-explained-using-continuums/
"Hi emma, thanks for your message, as it is not embued with hatred, I am happy to respond."
ReplyDeleteUhm, the posts you deleted were not "embued with hatred" ...
Rebecca, the sentiments in that link, reflect what I said in my blog. The author says:
ReplyDelete"Gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, and sexual orientation are independent of one another (i.e., they are not connected).
Which is what I meant when I said that though I am without doubt biologically woman, I feel that inside me, I am not subject to feelings of femaleness or maleness. Inherent in that statement is the suggestion that though we can be biologically one sex, we can feel any range of things inside, and can lack feelings of that gender.
I further that sentiment, by saying that though my transgender flatmate was born biologically male, and felt significantly female inside, she also exhibited traits that are associated with male behaviour.
Ergo, though I whole heartedly believe her conviction and her expression of what her truth is, I think that people are a big mix up of maleness and femaleness, inside and out. Or as this author describes it: there can be differences between our gender identity, expression, orientation and sexual organs.
I hope that clears things up for you. Most other people have also misinterpreted my writings.